Summer

I hate it.

I hate that he knows that I love to dance but refuses to take me.

I hate that he chooses to go with his fucktarded "friends" of several weeks to a club instead of me.

I hate that he thinks it's okay to tear me to pieces: telling me that he's okay dancing with another random girl (and getting turned on by her to top it off!), but won't give me a half-assed dance without a sigh of long suffering and a look of martyrdom. I love dancing more than I love breathing. I gave it up for him- why can't he ever stop to think of me?!

I hate that I care. I never used to care. I hate that I can't just tell him to fucking take a hike and that it's over between us. I don't need this shit. I still need him.

I hate that my mom is dying faster by the day and he won't stop to consider what he's doing to me. It's always HIS problems, HIS suffering.

I suffer silently.

I hate that I can't talk to him. When we started he made me promise to tell him everything. How can I? He always reacts in the DUMBEST way.

Whenever I say anything to the SLIGHTEST that I'm unhappy or that he's hurt me, he gets so FUCKING EMO and withdraws into himself and tells me I should find someone better. Why can't he understand that I don't WANT someone better. I want HIM- but I fucking can't deal with this shit. Why can't he just fucking LISTEN to me without being the FUCKTARD EMO BITCH that he turns into?

How the hell can I continue to date him when I can't even talk to him? What type of relationship is it when you can't be honest with the one you love?

Why can't he see that between my two jobs, my mom and dealing with him, I'm so stressed and overworked that I've stopped eating and sleeping?

Why do I always cry over him? I didn't even cry when I was stripped of my chakra's.

I don't hate him.... but I am begining to resent him.

Is it over?

I think I'm truly in Love with him

And it's going to kill me when he finally realizes that he wants more.....

But for now, I'm happy- and floating on air.